BACK TO SCHOOL STARTS AT HOME: Helping Young Children Adjust

Back-to-school season brings a lot of change, and not just for the kids going to school. While some young children are getting ready for their first day at preschool or kindergarten, others are simply watching an older brother or sister head off to an exciting place they don’t yet get to experience.

The school season actually brings a shift to the entire family, and that means changes to routines and the comfort of slower summer days. Mornings may become busier, and for some younger kids, a sibling they played with all summer may suddenly be gone for much of the day.

The good news? A few small steps can help young children (and their parents) adjust to new routines while helping to build the skills they’ll use one day when it’s their turn to head to school.

Start With Creating (New) Predictable Routines

Young kids feel more secure when they know what to expect throughout the day. As summer ends, start helping your family get into a new regular schedule.

Try to keep wake-up times, meals, naps, and bedtimes at around the same time each day. For example, a simple morning routine could be:

• Wake up and get dressed. (Tip: setting out clothes the night before can make it easier.)

• Eat breakfast.

• Brush teeth.

• Put on shoes.

• Gather backpacks, lunches or whatever might be needed for the day.
  

You can even create a picture chart showing each step your child should take to get ready each morning. Even if young kids aren’t going to school, they can follow along to do similar things an older sibling does or whatever they need to do to get started for their day.

Bedtime routines are important, too. Children need healthy sleep habits to learn, grow, and manage their emotions throughout the day. A calm routine, such as taking a bath, putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, and reading a book, can signal to their bodies and mind that it’s time for sleep.

Expect Some Big Feelings with Back-to-School Changes

Any changes to what a child is expecting throughout the day can also lead to changes in behavior. Regardless of whether they’ve started school or are just shifting from summer activities to fall, your child may be more tired, clingy, frustrated, or emotional than usual. A child who was doing great at following a bedtime routine might suddenly have more trouble settling down. A young sibling might miss an older brother or sister who is now at school and act out a little more. This is normal, and it can take some patience for caretakers. Hang in there!

It might help to talk with your kids about what is happening and give them some words for their feelings. “I know you miss your sister when she’s at school. I bet you’re happy when she comes home.” Or for kids starting school, “Going new places can make us feel a little nervous. Even I get some butterflies in my tummy when I try new things.” Be sure to listen when they share about their feelings — sometimes it can help just to talk about it. 

Try to stay patient and consistent every day while they learn a new routine for this season. Children often simply just need time to get comfortable and learn new expectations for their days.

Build School-Ready Skills Through Everyday Activities

There is no need for workbooks or special lessons to help children get ready for the school experience. Young children learn through talking, playing, and doing normal, everyday activities with you.

Here are some fun and easy ideas that also help children to get school ready: 

• Read together every day. Ask your child questions about the pictures in the book or what they think will happen next.
  

• Practice counting. Counting socks as you folder laundry, crackers at snack time, or groceries as you put them away is an easy and fun way to include them in chores.
  

• Build fine motor skills. Coloring, playing with play dough, building with blocks, and putting together puzzles help strengthen their hands and fingers that they will later use for writing skills.
  

• Give simple directions. A lot of what they’ll do at school is following directions. Ask your child to complete one- or two-step tasks, such as “Please put your cup in the sink and bring me your shoes.”
  

• Encourage some independence. Let your child practice easier tasks on their own (and expect some mistakes as they learn), such as getting dressed, washing their hands, putting toys away, and helping to open food containers. Give them some praise for trying, even when it’s not perfect at first.
  

• Talk throughout the day. Ask questions, name objects, and encourage your child to tell you about what they see and do.

  
  

These activities seem simple, but they help your child build language, thinking, movement, and social skills — all important parts of being ready to learn when they enter school.

Check In on Developmental Milestones

Back-to-school season can also be a good time to think about how your child is growing and learning at certain ages. 

Development milestones are skills most children develop around certain ages. These can include using words, playing appropriately with others, following simple directions, or using their hands and bodies in new ways. They are also used to help identify when a child is struggling to develop important physical, social, or emotional skills. Catching developmental delays early can help families access community resources that help children work through, and even overcome, obstacles to learning. 

To learn more about developmental milestones, download our free guide, Help Me Grow! A guide to fun brain-growth activities for babies from birth to 2 years old. In it, you’ll learn about important milestones at different ages and activities you can do to help your child reach them.

Remember that every child develops at their own pace. Checking on your child’s developmental skills early can help you understand their strengths and find extra support when it would be helpful. 

Help Children Practice a Growth Mindset

Starting something new can be hard for young children (and let’s be honest, for adults, too!) Instead of focusing only on whether they can do something well, it is important to cheer your child on for simply trying.

Try saying, “You kept trying even when that was hard — I’m so proud of you,” or “You weren’t able to do it yet, but you’re learning, and I know you’ll get it!” This is called a “growth mindset”. It helps children understand that hope is an important part of learning and growing at any age, and practice is key even when it takes a lot of tries.

Let them see you make mistakes, too When something doesn’t go as planned, talk about trying again or finding another way. Seeing you try, even when you make mistakes but keep trying, teaches your kids that mistakes are a normal part of learning.

Make Kindness Part of Being Ready for School

Being school-ready also means learning how to be part of a group and getting along with others. At home, children can practice taking turns, sharing, listening when others are speaking, and helping each other. Talk about how other kids might feel in certain situations and what you and your child can do when someone is sad, lonely, or needs help.

You can ask, “What could you do if you saw someone playing alone? What would you want to happen if it was you?” or “How do you think your friend felt when you shared?”

These little conversations can help your child build empathy and understanding, both of which are important in learning how to be a good friend.

Don’t Forget Food, Sleep, and Play

Back-to-school season is typically a busy time. That’s even more reason to make sure your family remembers that nutritious meals and regular sleep are important for energy, attention, memory, appropriate behavior, and regulating emotions. 

But it’s also just as important to make time for play. Kids learn key skills when they run, build, imagine, explore in safe spaces, and play with others. Play isn’t separate from learning; it is one of the most important ways they learn.

Fall Can Be a Fresh Start for the Whole Family

Back-to-school season is a transition for everyone, including those who aren’t heading to the classroom yet.

With steady routines, plenty of sleep, healthy foods, play, and lots of encouragement, you can help your children feel secure while building skills that will prepare them for school and beyond.

And you don’t have to do it alone. Child and Family Resource Network is here to support Southwest Iowa families with young children, from developmental milestones to activities and resources to help your family thrive. Contact us today to learn more about free family support programs for families with children 5 and under.

Free Summer Activities for Toddlers